


Nevertheless, she persisted

by thisonestargazer



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Getting Help, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jedi Council - Freeform, Jedi Culture, Jedi Temple (Star Wars), Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Screw the attachment rule, Sexual Assault, Title IX, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:33:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25339921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisonestargazer/pseuds/thisonestargazer
Summary: "Every 98 seconds someone in the United States is sexually assaulted." - RAINN StatisticsPadawan Alia Bran didn't have friends. They were attachments. Attachments were against the Jedi Code.Master Herodan Escipstes had friends. They were attachments. Attachments were against the Jedi Code, except, it seemed like so was everything else.Master Herodan Escipstes was Padawan Alia Bran's Master, and they were a family. When times got hard, family stuck close together.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

> I was sexually assaulted this past year.
> 
> Overcoming trauma is a constant battle, I couldn't even say the perpetrators name without it affecting me for months after it occurred. Sometimes I wonder if it even happened. 
> 
> I'm very interested with how institutions handle cases of sexual assault. My story did not end happily and I am starting my story somewhere else now, however, now I want to see how the Order would take action. 
> 
> I really wanted to see how the Jedi Order would handle cases of sexual assault.

Alia Bran was on her fifth year of Padawanship under the tulitedge of Master Herodan Escipstes when it happened.

She had been in the meditation rooms with her aqutiances, because as a Jedi, you could not have attachments, and to Padawan Bran, she interpreted that as not having close connections to others.

Having friends only led to attachments. Which then led to possession and the fear of losing then, and then as Grandmaster Yoda would say, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering.

Alia never wanted to suffer. She already was as much as a burden on Master Escipstes as she could have been. She had been behind in her year of Initiates, and found herself constantly struggling to use the force, yet not studying it. The only thing she was average at, in the least, was meditation.

She could go there whenever she felt the world was becoming too much and found that it helped center herself. Center herself in the force, or what little grasp of it she had.

Master Herodan Escipstes viewed his Padawan with a great fondness and love as a father did for a daughter. Knowing that she tended to struggle on what came easier to most Jedi, yet had faith in her abilities, knowing that the force would always be there to guide her. He knew that she believed herself to slow him down and took every opportunity her could to remind her of her abilities and strengths elsewhere.

She would be a Jedi Knight. It would just take her a bit longer than most to achieve such a goal.

And Master Escipstes would wait for her.


	2. The Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Descriptions of sexual assault. 
> 
> Padawan Alia Bran was trapped, in a place where she felt the most safe. Where she had memories of meditating with her Master, or even Neepa. She could even find her best memories of revelations she had about the force, and how she came to start to accept herself.

Alia decided to take a break from her deep studying in the archives and gave a light wave and smile to the Archivist apprentice, Neepa Oden, who Alia would say was her one acquaintance, and as Master Herodan would see it, her one friend. 

Except, Alia didn't have friends. She couldn't. It was against the code. Jedi were to serve the force and give there life to the force. Truly only being under its watchful eye. 

While she walked down the Halls of the Jedi temple at a brisk pace, carrying her holopads, she stopped by the meditation rooms. 

Her favorite part of the temple. 

If anyone would ask her why the Jedi meant so much to her, she would always tell them, "Having the gift of helping the people of the Republic,", while truly, she loved the solitude and relaxation of the Meditation rooms. 

They weren't quite busy in the afternoon, and she found the room she always went to. In the corner of the Meditation hall, with just the right amount of solitude that Alia was looking for. 

She quietly shuffled into the empty Meditation room, setting down her holopads at the door, and sat down. Getting herself comfortable. Binding herself to the force, feeling the prescences of the Jedi Order surrounding her and fulfilling her and finding her self. Finding her center. As the anxiety and stress of her studies washed away, she found the forces light enrapturing her, surrounding her. 

There was a presence outside the meditation room and she heard a click of the door opening. Of all the meditation rooms, someone decided to join her. 

"Padawan Bran," a smooth voice filled her ears, as she slightly opened her eyes. It wasn't preferred that he interrupted her meditation, except she knew the figure in front of her. A Padawan of the name of Theon Jin. He sat next to her in some of her Temple Studies. 

She always felt neutral about him, except he was quite intelligent and always had patience to work with her.

"Hello, Padawan Jin. Care to join me?" He raised an eyebrow, as if saying 'Of course, that's why I'm here, aren't I?'. Then he sat down, and she watched as he brushed his wavy brown hair out of his face, and began to open his mouth. 

"I was wondering if you could help me with something." He reached out to grab her hand, and she looked at him, narrowing her eyes.

Then she moved back from him, "I'm sorry, help with what?"

And he moved closer, as she moved further away from him, "This." 

He moved over her, and she felt small under him, and he kissed her, as she tried to shove him away, "What the-"

And he quieted her, "No, it's okay." She felt trapped and felt a pressure in the force stop her from trying to yell, and her thoughts became clouded as she tried to move away from him. Except he kept grabbing and touching and whispering, "It's okay, you want this." 

She tried to move away, to scream, as she found herself only getting a small, "No, no-" out into the meditation room. 

Padawan Alia Bran was trapped, in a place where she felt the most safe. Where she had memories of meditating with her Master, or even Neepa. She could even find her best memories of revelations she had about the force, and how she came to start to accept herself. 

And as she felt him pushing against her, and he had taken his robes off and somehow gotten hers off, the memories came back, except all she could see in the room was Padawan Jin's eyes. His brown eyes held such a violent look to them as her pushed against her, and she felt powerless. Maybe she had given something off to Padawan Jin about attachments. All she could hear was him telling her it was alright and that she wanted this. 

Except it didn't feel that way. Except.. Maybe it did?

She felt something enter her body and it make her shiver but also felt wrong. She kept trying to move and maybe if she kept doing it, he'd leave. 

Time took forever, as she helplessly was suffocated by Padawan Bran's force presence. Wrapping her and leaving her empty. 

As soon as it started. It ended. 

She felt wet, slick, disgusted, she wanted to scrub her body for a week. She laid there, eyes wide as she stared at Padawan Jin. 

He threw his robes back on, not even glancing back at her, as she tried to force words out of her throat. Then before leaving the room, he glanced at her, a mask of serenity, of a true Jedi. He looked at her as if she was nothing, and his eyes, the memories was all that remained. They looked playful, as if she was his plaything. 

Then he left. 

And there she laid. Half naked, violated. A false Jedi. One who had broken the attachment rule. She shrugged her robes back on, as she felt her eyes begin to water, and gasps take over her. Anxiety filling her as she grabbed at herself.

What had she done? How could she have done that? Why did she lead him on?

She couldn't breathe and found herself saying, "I can't- I can't" and just when she tried to make it out, she found she still couldn't move. 

Alia just wanted to cry, to break down on herself. How could that have happened?

She closed her eyes, except all she saw was him. 

To her luck, as she began to collect herself and tried to look presentable, she heard a presence move down the hall. Well heard, felt, everything felt mixed at the moment. Then she stood, shaking and tears slid down her face. As another click opened the door and she huddled in on herself. 

Then, to her surprise who entered the room wasn't Padawan Jin, yet it was another. A Master. 

Master Mace Windu. 

She fell to her knees, tears falling as she couldn't hold herself together anymore. 

Her hair was a mess, and she felt a presence surround her, as she forced out, "Please." And then there was a step back. She looked up at Master Windu and felt ashamed. 

He bent down on his knees, and his face warmed slightly, "Let me help you." 

That wasn't the right thing for him to say because Alia Bran started crying harder, and shoved herself into a corner of the Meditation room, gasping, "Please leave. Please." He waited, observing her for a few seconds, and sent a pulse of comfort and care towards her. They wrapped around her anxiety and helped her feel slightly at peace, while he said softly, "I am going to step outside. Who is your Master, young one?"

She took a few seconds, and looked at him, at his soul, and his eyes. Except his eyes weren't violent like Jin's. They were calm, centered, collected. 

She whispered, "Master Herodan Escipstes."

He nodded and although Alia didn't know him well, except knowing he was on the Jedi Council, knew that she could trust him, "I'll be right outside." 

Alia nodded. Hoping that Master Herodan would be there sooner than later. She always felt safe with him. Even if she could be a burden, she knew he'd always love her. After all, she would never admit it out loud, but sometimes she called him, Dad, in her head.

Alia loved Herodan as a Daughter loved a Father. 


	3. A parent's fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Master Escisptes." Windu's face came into view in the quiet room, as he could sense distress from the man's face over the com.
> 
> "You're needed in the mediation rooms. This is a matter of priority." The second Windu said, 'meditation rooms', he knew he found his answer. Something was wrong with his Padawan, his daughter. 

Herodan had started the day a bit later than he wanted. Of course, he was up by sunrise to do a morning meditation with his oh, so lovely, little Alia, but after that, he grabbed a cup of caff and looked up his holopads. That was all to it.

They had just returned from a month's long mission in the Mid-Rim and he thought he deserved some downtime. After all, all Jedi did was move around, and he hadn't had any time for himself recently. 

After letting Alia off for the day, he knew she was nervous about being behind on her studies, so he gave him an extra hug even though she protested, "I'm fine, Master!" And off she went, his little girl. 

He was a bit too attached to Alia than he would have expected himself to be when he first took her on as his Padawan. 

She was his second Padawan, the first now a Knight known for getting in all kinds of trouble, Knight Korkie Kyze. That brought Herodan to wince, Korkie always seemed to find himself in front of the Council of Reconciliation after many of his missions, as he tended to follow along with his Master and get attached to everything he saw. 

And when Korkie found out that he took a second Padawan, his face lit up and he loved being the big brother to Alia. 

It seemed to pass down from their lineage. The attachment. 

Yet, the only one not being attached was Alia. She thought she could hide it from him, but he knew that she struggled to make friends and connect to others. Since she was 13, when he first took her on, she was always enraptured in stories from far away lands, connecting to the stories of the characters, rather than the outside world. It constantly troubled him and frustrated him, he didn't want to see Alia have to struggle without support. There was going to be a time she was going to need it, and without the proper support team, she would have to struggle with more than she needed to. 

He sighed and closed his eyes, as his com was beeped, and he looked at who it was from, eyes slightly narrowing at Master Windu's code.   
The force flicked slightly and he felt anxiety, fear, and.. Alia. Quickly, he opened the com, desperate for answers. 

"Master Escisptes." Windu's face came into view in the quiet room, as he could sense distress from the man's face over the com.

"You're needed in the mediation rooms. This is a matter of priority." The second Windu said, 'meditation rooms', he knew he found his answer. 

Something was wrong with his Padawan, his daughter. 

Maser Herodan nodded, letting out a, "Of course, should I know anything before I get there?" Master Windu's face fell and he gathered himself quickly, walking out of his room into the hall, desperate to get to Alia. She needed to know she was safe. 

Before ending the com, Windu croaked out, "She needs you." And that was enough for Herodan to begin sprinting through the halls. Something was very wrong. 

As he made it through the maze of the temple, running down the stairs to the Meditation Hall, he almost hit several Padawans, Knights, and Masters on the way. Then holding their serenity and watched as he sped down, and he tried not to bleed his- fear, distress, anxiety -into the force, he thought of Alia. Her smile and when she would grab his hand, telling her Master a small thank you. 

She could never bring herself to say, "I love you." To him, but right now, all he wanted to do was to get her out of the horrifying incident she was in. Which of course didn't make much sense to the Master, because in all of his 48 years of being alive, he had never heard of anything happening there. That was sacred, and there were never any incidents besides visions or passing out from force exhaustion. Alia wasn't prone to visions, and he had just seen her this morning, had just felt her this morning, so either of the things wasn't quite possible. 

But he never knew with Alia, and he tried to keep a steady head as he raced down and into the Meditation Hall, coming to a brisk walk as he saw the hall, and seconds later he ran into Master Windu.  
  
"Alia," He said, and he started to bring himself to enter the room, but the Master held out his hand, stopping Herodan. 

"I need to speak to you about how she reacted, and what I saw."  
Herodan's brows furrowed together, confusion flickering on his masked face and he nodded. 

Master Windu took a couple of steps from the door, and looked at him directly in his eyes, practically looking in his soul, "Another Padawan was here. I had been in the hall, walking towards the archives as I saw him leave the halls, and distress followed him. I followed him and stopped him, and he looked disheveled, and pleaded, saying that it wasn't his fault. Master Kenobi was with me and took him to a private room to question him, and then was to take him to the healing halls. I went to the room he was in, and your Padawan was there."

Master Escipstes didn't know where this was going, "And?" 

"She was frightened with me when I tried to ask her what had happened, which is when I wanted to reach out to her Master." Eyes looked over his face, as he turned towards the meditation room's door, "We need to know what happened so both Padawan's can be given resources after what transpired here."

Herodan nodded, stepping closer to the door, and brought his hand to knock lightly before opening the door, "Alia." He softly said, as he entered the room and saw a small figure in robes snug in one of the corners of the room. 

He could feel her and her breathing sped up as she brought her hands to curl in her hair, and silence filled the room. 

Herodan inched his way over to his Padawan, and tears slightly came to his eyes, he hated seeing her hurt. 

He watched as her hands slightly loosened over her head and she looked up, her face red with tears and discomfort filling her, and she softly said, "I don't want to get up." He moved to sit down, to be at her level, and she watched, her eyes scanning over his every move, calculating his actions.   
He got down in a seated position, "That's okay. Are you thirsty?" 

She nodded her head slowly, and began to turn, when she shouted out, "No!" And Master Herodan, although unprepared, did not react, and turned back towards her, and she opened her mouth, "I'm thirsty, I just don't want you to leave." 

He nodded, and voiced over his next actions, "I'm just going to turn around," she gulped and scratched at her arms, "And as Master Windu to get us some water. And maybe some crackers." Following that, he asked Master Windu and turned back to Alia. 

She looked as if someone had forced off her robes, and she had tried to get them back on but anyone could see that they were not the way she set them up that morning. They sat in silence, and listened to each other breathing, until Alia had enough, "Actually I want to leave. I can't do this. I can't be-" And her Master nodded, taking her in, sending love across their bond and into her. 

He gently asked, "Do you need help getting up?" And she shook her head, she knew how to get up. Alia was shaking and took his hand after standing, as they left the room and Master Herodan grabbed her datapads that had been scattered on the floor. 

Alia was so tired and wished the entire day had never happened. Nothing good had happened today, and Alia could just imagine it becoming even worse. They made it to the hall, Master Windu's face shocked until a mask fell over, and Alia tried to cover herself off. It felt like the robes she tried to put back on were not enough to keep from prying eyes. 

Her favorite set of robes, maroon, and dark brown, she just wanted them to be burned. Finding a string of confidence, practically coming out of nowhere in Alia's distraught mind, "Masters, I need to go to the healers." 

That was all she could get out, because, whatever had happened in there, she didn't exactly know what to even call it. It was rape, but that left a weird taste in her mouth. The only thing she knew was that she wanted to leave the meditation halls, and quickly.

**Author's Note:**

> Here are resources about sexual assault: https://www.thefriendshipcenter.org/sexual-assault  
> https://nij.ojp.gov/topics/articles/victims-and-perpetrators  
> https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem


End file.
